In Loving Memory of Matilda by Dierdre Asgar For so many of us animal lovers, there has been a steady flow of pets around us throughout our lives. There were pets we cherished during our childhood years and those that kept us company into our adult lives. Each and every one was unique and special in some way. Each pet left a special little mark in our hearts long after they were gone and will always be remembered for their own unique traits. Some would make us laugh with their comical antics; others were there to offer their solace when we needed a shoulder to cry on. Many became our best friends. If we are very fortunate, sometimes once in a lifetime, we are blessed with the care and friendship of an animal companion that stands out above and beyond all the rest. That is how it was with my cat Matilda. I first saw Matilda at a county animal shelter in August of 1996. There she sat in a cage with her sister, surrounded by hundreds of other cats and kittens. The shelter was inundated with so many pathetic, beautiful cats and kittens that were homeless and in desperate need of loving families. When I approached Matilda’s cage, she shyly walked towards me sideways with her tail straight up in the air. She let out a soft meow and then stuck her gentle little paw out at me through the wire cage. She picked me, and she may as well have just said, “please take me home”. I was so overwhelmed by all the homeless cats that I went home empty handed that day. For the rest of the week all I could think about was that little face looking at me through her cage. I realized that she was the one for me and hoped that she would still be there when I returned. When I arrived at the shelter to adopt her, there she was - that little black tortoiseshell with her asymmetrical markings of beige and reddish splotches on her face and body. This time her eyes were watery and her nose was running. My kitty was clearly ill and underweight for her age. I asked the shelter staff if I could please take her home, get her well, and then have her spayed. Since the shelter had a strict policy about spay/neuter before an animal is released, my request was denied. So I would have to pick her up the next day after she was spayed and vaccinated. Homecoming was exciting. I picked up my two pound, twelve week old kitten and headed home. After a day or two my family and I decided that her name would be Matilda. It was a befitting name for a gentle, sweet, down to earth kitten. After two or three days Matilda’s illness seemed to get worse and she became weaker by the hour. It was becoming clear to us that this was not just an upper respiratory infection. She started vomiting, had diarrhea, and then completely lost her appetite. She went downhill so suddenly. Then she could no longer hold her head up and her eyes rolled backwards. I remember screaming, and then my daughter’s boyfriend scooped her up and we all headed down to Oradell Animal Hospital. That was a car ride I will never forget. We were told by the doctor that Matilda was gravely ill and needed to be hospitalized. The next day we were informed that her blood work indicated that she had feline distemper, and her white cell count was zero. Her chance for survival was very slim. Since kittens seldom survive this devastating illness, I was asked if I wanted her to be euthanized. I said that I was committed to this kitten and to please do everything possible to save her life. If the doctors could keep her alive while the virus ran its course, she had a slight chance. Two weeks later, after having had blood transfusions, forced feedings, multiple medications, and round-the-clock care, my kitten was ready to come home. To this day we joke about how Matilda was our two thousand dollar stray. Thank God for credit cards. We were able to charge her medical care and pay it off a little bit at a time. It took a couple of months for Matilda to regain her strength. I believe that the intense nursing care I gave her and the constant handling during her recuperation helped us to forge an incredibly strong bond. I always felt that she knew I saved her life and I know that she loved me as much as I loved her. She was kind to everyone, but she only had eyes for me. She was clearly my cat, and I was her person. We were the closest of companions and often seemed to know what the other was thinking. She greeted me at the door when I would come home and she followed me everywhere. Matilda was an indoor-only cat but she would sit outside contentedly with me on our deck and never attempted to run away. She was happy, content, and playful. Matilda could fetch a toy mouse as well as any dog could fetch a ball. She answered to a multitude of nick names, and she loved to eat. One of the funniest and most unusual things that Matilda did was to brush her hair. Yes, I mean she would brush her OWN hair. I had a circular brush that I used when I would blow dry my hair. Matilda would come running into the bathroom, jump up onto the vanity, and stand upright on her hind legs. She would proceed to grab the brush with her front paws and then guide the brush back and forth from one side of her face to the other over and over. When I had company over my house, they would often ask if they could watch Matilda brush her own hair. The years came and went and Matilda and I remained the best of friends. I can honestly say that a day didn’t go by that I didn’t thank God for this cat. I never took anything for granted because I knew that it wouldn’t last forever. I often thought about how I would someday have to say goodbye. When Matilda was eight years old she was diagnosed as a diabetic. I had to give her insulin injections every twelve hours and first make sure that she ate enough to keep her blood sugar from dipping too low. It was real intimidating for me at first, but after a while it became routine for us.  She was great about receiving her shots and was very cooperative by letting me get urine samples when she was in her litter box. It’s amazing what we can learn to do when we HAVE to do it. That strength comes from love. Last spring, when Matilda was just about twelve years old, she developed a tumor which was removed from the side of her abdomen. It was determined that she had a mast cell tumor which is usually benign in cats. A few months later, more tumors appeared on her head and neck and then they spread to other areas on her skin. Aspirated cells from her liver and spleen indicated that the cancer was also internal. The prognosis was poor. After that there was a gradual, noticeable decline in her health. Because of the diabetes Matilda was not a good candidate for chemotherapy.  There were too many tumors for radiation. I’m personally not in favor of harsh conventional treatments anyway, and I wouldn’t want to subject my cat to those treatment modalities.  The oncologist said that even if she could have chemo it would only work for about four months and then we would be back to where we started. No thank you. I brought Matilda to a holistic vet and we gave her natural, more gentle supplements and   treatments. I learned to give her injections of Venus Fly Trap (Carnivora) everyday along with a vitamin “cocktail” to drink, and a host of other things. She actually liked drinking this stuff! She was so good, it amazed me. I think the holistic approach improved the quality of her life and probably extended it a little. I said from the beginning of her illness that as long as she was willing to eat then I would try my hardest to fight for her life. I prayed everyday that Matilda would be cured but I guess it was not meant to be. Gradually her appetite diminished. She had good days and bad days. The good days always gave me a glimmer of hope. But the bad days started to dominate. Matilda was no longer happy and she became reclusive. She took to hiding under the bed a lot. Finally she refused all my attempts to feed and medicate her and I knew that she was giving up her fight. It was time for me to let her go. The day that I knew would be her last, I spent the entire day on the bed with my arms around her. That evening my daughter (who is a vet) came over to our house with all the necessary equipment, and we all sat on the bed with Matilda saying our goodbyes. When her breathing became slightly labored and her eyes a little vacant we decided that it wouldn’t be fair to wait for misery to set in. Matilda passed peacefully as I held her in my arms in the bed that she slept in every night. I will be eternally grateful that my sweet cat could pass over with dignity in her own house surrounded by the family that loved her so dearly. It is never easy to say goodbye to your soul mate. If I could pick one word that could sum up my life with Matilda it would be gratitude. I am grateful for having the privilege to adopt her, to save her young life, and to nurse her back to health. I am grateful for having the chance to offer her a safe, loving home for almost thirteen years. I am grateful for being able to take care of her in her sickly, elderly years, and to be present with her when she left this world. And surely I will be grateful when we meet again. [-] Close

In Loving Memory of Katie by Kimberly Carbone Katie was born in March of 1994. She was the only survivor of a litter of four that we were told had died of some kind of virus. She came from a household of 22 other cats! It was love at first sight for the two of us. She took well to the other two cats in her new home and the other cats took to her right away. You probably hear this alot but she was absolutely friendly to everybody, woudn't hesitate to sit on anybody's lap. When younger kittens came into the house two and a half years ago, there wasn't a jealous bone in her body. She welcomed them with open paws. She loved Costco chicken and Oscar Meyer boiled Ham more than anything! After Katie's friend and housemate Nina died at age 18, Katie began crying on a regular basis. She had been with Nina for her entire life. We don't know if it's just coincidence or not but initially she missed her alot! Now Midnight, who absolutely loved Katie to death is beside herself. She goes to where Katie's bed was and just cries. When I was upset over the death of Katie and sitting on the couch, Midnight for the first time ever just walked over and sat on my lap. She NEVER did that before EVER. I think Katie's death knocked some of the feral out of Midnight. When Katie started having kidney problems, we had to put glasses of water all over the house and give her her own litter box closer to her food. She became a higher maintenance kitty but it was a nice thing because she kept us on our toes. Now the glasses of water sit alone in the same places. We haven't moved them yet and we miss her meows in the morning saying I'M HUNGRY. She had a spoiled life but we wouldn't have it any other way. She gave us years of happiness and memories. It's going to be hard for a while yet but we will get over it. The loss is still too soon. [-] Close